There is a secret issue just under the surface in the ministry lives of many children’s ministers. The issue is the feeling of a lack of respect from others about what we do. We work with children and are separated from the main service. It’s easy for us to feel removed, forgotten, taken for granted and disrespected. Continue reading
What do you do when someone you depended on quits Children’s Ministry? Maybe it’s a top level coordinator or just someone who said they would do music for VBS. The job they were going to do doesn’t matter… the fact that you’re not stuck with it, or unable to do the program because of it, is. It can be easy to panic when you get those emails or phone calls. I’ve recently had this happen to me. It changes things, but I’ll adjust and eventually have the same outcome. I guess that’s the point after all.
Here are some tips for dealing with big jobs that get abandoned.
This is not a choice you can make just after you’re disappointment happens. This is a choice you make today… before anything goes haywire. Are you going to be a person of action… or reaction? I don’t know about you, but I want to be in control of what comes out of my mouth… and though it’s true that no one can tame the tongue… you can control where the tongue is speaking from. If your heart is focused on the One you live to serve, if you realize who is in control, that heart will overflow out of your mouth when the time comes. Make the choice today to not panic.
Like Moses said, “Let your people go!”… kinda. You may be angry, hurt, upset, disappointed… but let them go easy! You’re going to have a ton of feelings toward them… none of them will be good ones. None of them will be based on anything other than what you think they’ve done to you. You can’t base decisions on bad thinking. So make your choice now… when they call or email… let them off easy. I always make a point to let them know that the door swings both ways, in a positive sense. They’re welcome back anytime! I can count on two hands the number of volunteers I’ve gotten back because I gave them a guilt free exit.
Both step one and step two rely on step 3 to work. You’ve got to realize where your help comes from. It’s not a volunteer, your spouse or your pastor… not even in yourself. Your help comes from the Lord (creator of Heaven and Earth). Also, it’s HIS ministry, HIS kids, His church, HIS passion and therefore HIS responsibility. Trust that God has a plan to work everything out for your good and HIS glory. Pray to the Lord of the harvest to send you laborers… it’s HIS harvest field… if he wants it harvested, he’ll have to send you folks to help! He does and He will.
Okay, so the spiritual stuff is good… but what about the help you need? God helps those who help themselves right? Maybe. I prefer to say that we do what we can do and God does what we can’t. If you’re like me, you’ve tapped about just about everyone you know. It may be time to think outside your circle. Pray a bit and ask God to open your mind to someone who may have the right skill set to do what you need done. Ask them directly, letting them know what skills attracted you to them. Offer a limit to their service… say, three months. Tell them they can visit before they commit. If they bite, awesome, if not… keep praying until God delivers.
Trials like this are never fun. They’re one of the more frustrating things you’ll deal with in ministry. But like any struggle, you can just go through it… or you can go through it and have God’s purpose work in you as a result. You’re going to go through it anyway… might as well do it God’s way and get some benefits!
I believe in cutting my Sunday Children’s Church Service into segments of no more than 10-15 minutes each. One of the ways I do that is by sticking one or two games in to the mix. My games are not just distractions… I use them as an excuse to reiterate the main point of the service. In other words, my games are quick, simple, and themed.
No matter what our game is we only play it for 60 seconds. My game person chooses the children in advance during the service (watching to see who is being good and choosing at random from that group) and let’s them know when to come up and how to play. When she gets on stage, she calls up the kids she’s already chosen, briefly explains what’s about to happen to the crowd (the gamers already know) and then it’s Mark, Set, GO! Sixty seconds later the game is over, a point is made and prizes and points are given. Then it’s on to the next segment.
Almost every single one of our stage games follows this formula: “How many (or much) ___________ can you ___________ in 60 seconds?”
This formula helps us keep games simple and quick. Here are some examples of games we’ve done this way:
Even when we don’t stick to the formula, we still keep it simple and quick.
There is no reason games should be ‘burn time’ where the kids aren’t learning. It’s simple enough to theme the games after something in the lesson or Bible story. For instance, the cotton ball game above could be used when talking about Manna. Frisbee tosses are for talking about sin and missing the target. Putting puzzles together are good for illustrating how God heals broken hearts. We’ve stacked Lego’s when we’ve talked about God being a strong tower.
The game’s theme isn’t going to be obvious unless your game leader points it out. We typically do this before and after the game. It goes something like this, “Since we’re talking about Manna today, we’re going to practice picking up a bit of Manna ourselves!” Then after the game, “You guys and girls did great picking up that Manna! This game reminds me that God will always provide what we need the same way God provided for His people in the wilderness.”
What stage game tips do you have? Leave them in the comments below. We’d love to hear from you.
Any children’s minister with policies will eventually have one of those policies ignored or transgressed against. Calling a volunteer to ask over it is never fun or easy. Correcting one of our kids is easy. Correcting an adult, even better an adult that is older than ourselves, can be downright awkward or even embarrassing for everyone involved.
Over the years I’ve have to call plenty of volunteers to the carpet. Most have been more than willing to be corrected and move forward but once in a while it turns into a fiasco. Sometimes because of the personality of the volunteer… and sometimes because I go into the meeting half prepared.
Here are some things I need to remember for next time.
Assume the best about the person. Better to be proven wrong than to treat them poorly because of misinformation.
You may have a lot of things to cover… but if you throw to much at them they’ll think you hate them. The people are more important than the policy.
Write up what your goal is and work your way back from there. Each bullet is a correction. Sprinkle it with compliments.
Your real goal will come through in your conversation. If it’s pure, it will cover a multitude of mistakes.
Assume they have a different view of the subject than you. Listen. Try to understand.
Before, during, after. It helps everything.
Even just a text full of praise and thanks for the volunteer’s willingness to change can help put out the fires that often spring up after a meeting.
You often see articles on how to avoid burnout in ministry… but what about when it sneaks up on you? How can you get out of the hole of despair your in? Below I’ve listed some things that help me when the well doing makes me weary.
Taking time off if you haven’t had a break can be a great way to recharge… but not always. Sometimes taking a break can be like running away. If you don’t do things to recharge in your time away, you’ll end up coming back right into the same situations as ill prepared as you were before.
I’m not talking about faking a good mood… though we’ve all been there. That would be an attempt to feeling your way into actions… which is killer. Acting your way into feelings means that you get up, get out there and keep on trucking. If you can’t do everything you’re supposed to do, do what you can do. Give God room to move in your ministry life by continuing to do as much of it as you can. The rest of the steps depend on this.
Most of the time we’re not burned out on ministry as a whole… we’re just burned out on parts of it. It may be time for a change in those areas. I’m a fan of giving away parts of the ministry that grind my nerves away to those who are especially gifted at it. Even if you don’t delegate everything… doing it differently can be just the thing to renew your interest and passion.
We get burned out when we try to do more than we can handle. Sure, there are things God has called us to do that may be beyond us and all… but His yoke is easy and all that. I’m talking about when we take on to much and try to do it all ourselves. It’s time to delegate. Don’t know how? Try asking yourself, “Who would take my place if I were sick this Sunday?” and go from there. You don’t have to give everything away… just the parts that anyone else can do.
As a child I would hear people talk about ‘praying through’. I didn’t understand it then… but I sure do now. Praying through, for me anyway, is praying until my attitude changes. Literally bugging God until He helps me through. Typically for me it means Him humbling me and realizing it was some sort of independent pride that got me where I was in the first place. Along with seeking energy, attitude adjustments and such, you might also ask for creativity… or if you’re season has changed. God loves you more than the ministry you provide. He knows that you minister out of your overflow… and He will fill you if you wait on Him.
For me, this is a huge problem. I’m terrible with names across the board. I carry my drivers license so I can prove who I am… to myself. Nametags are great… but learning the names of your kids (other than the ‘bad’ ones) is huge. Remembering them after their out of children’s ministry is even better.
Sometimes in the chaos of a Sunday good behavior can be taken for granted. The last thing we want is our parents to start rolling their eyes when we approach them. Start telling on your kids when they’ve been caught being good. It’ll help you stay positive and the kids will love you for it.
With permission from a parent or guardian I have never had a problem getting in to eat lunch with one of my kids. I usually show up a bit early so I can meet the Teacher, see the classroom and most importantly, their own desk. This is especially good for your ‘bad’ kids. You might be surprised how good they are in school… or how they’ve improved since Kindergarten.
This is easy. Just ask the kids to bug their parents. You’ll get invites! It’s an excellent way to get into a family’s life. Have mom and the child give you a tour of the home and see the kid’s room. Remember a few things and mention them from the stage the next week. Watch their face.
A postcard is great… but a phone call on the day (or even the week) of their birthday has a greater effect on children and families than any other single thing I have ever done. If you have a small group, you’re probably looking at 2-6 calls a month. Put them in your planner and remember to check. Make weekend calls on Friday. Make Sunday calls in person with hug.
I was asked today by one of the kids in my children’s ministry, “How do you make a website?” It gave me the idea of putting together a post with the details of what makes nlcast.com tick.
I use GoDaddy.com for hosting and domain registration. In my experience they are the cheapest and best for my purposes. You can save yourself some money (and help out the show) by using our codes.
I use WordPress for the website itself. WordPress is an excellent, free and easy to learn blogging platform that allows you to install themes that change the look and feel of your site instantly without changing the content itself. GoDaddy hosting makes installing WordPress simple by doing it for you.
The WordPress theme I use currently is a modified version of a premium theme called Simplista by WP Now. They liked what I did with the site so much, they asked to feature it in their Showcase.
I use a lot of plug-ins for WordPress. Plug-ins are free and easy to install. They add additional features to your WordPress blog that do not exist in the base platform. Here’s a list of what I use:
If you have questions about How I Podcast, you can visit the Podcast Resources category for a list of articles that will help you get started.
Do you have any great WordPress themes or plugins to share? Post them in the comments!
When did children’s ministry become all about Leadership? Though I think that message appeals to the white-color, Starbucks-sipping, Mac toting children’s pastors (an observation, not a judgment)… I think the latest trend in children’s ministry is all but lost on a majority of the folks actually doing the ministry.
Most children’s ministers are unpaid untrained volunteers who have a lot of passion and ability but not a lot of ideas, support or resources. They also don’t have a budget. I think this is why the CM gurus have ignored the real need… there’s no money in it. I don’t see a lot of curriculum being created and marketed to the Inner City for instance.
The mother of 3 doing children’s ministry in the basement of the church with her husband doing puppets doesn’t need to know about leadership, time-management and budgeting. She needs to know how to create object lessons, how to discipline properly, how to stay motivated, how to work with nothing and turn it into spiritual growth in a child’s life.
My hope is that a movement will rise up. A community of mid-small church children’s ministers who are Kingdom minded enough to share what they’ve learned, what they have, what has kept them afloat. A group of folks who aren’t comparing numbers or conference appearances but may have accidently mastered some aspect of their ministry and would love to share it with the rest of us.
As MJ said… we’ve got to start with the man in the mirror… so here goes. If there is anything I can help anyone with… anything I have learned… anything I can give (that is mine to give)… please let me know. That is the goal of this site and podcast after all. To target the forgotten.
My charge to all of us: Forget about being popular. Be important.
Yesterday’s post dealt with screwing up your legacy. I spoke of a message God had given on the way to the car. This post continues that event.
I sat in my car going through all of the things I needed to stop complaining about. There was a huge list. The truth is our church is a very hard church to serve. It’s just the truth. A slide show of situations and issues flipped through my mind. Volunteers. Parents. Finances. Inequity. Drama. Politics. Failures. Disappointments. Mistakes. Broken Hearts. Things the church had done to me… things I had done to the church.
That meant to much to me.
I think God’s word to me is a word to us all… to those in ministry, to those in the workplace or who work to make a home. God called you! You are unique, able, enabled, and specifically gifted for the role He has given you to play.
Your church may be a world of drama. It may be the best thing in the world. The easiest place to work or not… but wherever it is… that’s what God called you to. There is a whole heap of energy in that.
About three years ago I was in prayer and God finally spoke to me. Some people have God speak to them all the time… not me. I’ve never heard him audibly… and that really used to bother me. God typically just drops answers or thoughts into my mind. Thoughts that make so much sense I know they didn’t come from me. But that moment three years ago was different. Though He wasn’t audible, the voice in my mind was clear.
“Outlive this,” was all He said.
I had been praying because I was seeing some pretty tough times coming on the horizon in my job and home life. They issues were taking a toll on my job performance, attitude, patience and spirituality. I had been praying for guidance, answers, help of just about any kind… and all I got was two words. Outlive this.
Though I’ve since had more thoughts and impressions that I know were from God since that moment… no matter how I pray, I haven’t gotten anything more out of our Father. No matter the circumstances, I always just come back to the last thing He told me.
I’ve given this short statement a lot of thought over the years. Like a Rodeo Rider riding bareback it has become a handle for me to hold onto. Here’s what I’ve pulled from it. I hope it will be of comfort to someone out there.
“Outlive This” means a few things to me:
There is a huge difference between surviving something and outliving it. You can barely be alive and still say your survived. You can be totally torn to shreds and still be a survivor. That’s not what God wanted from me. He wanted me to be alive after it was all over. He didn’t want me to just get through it… but rather to learn to thrive in the midst of the complexities of my life.
The word ‘outlive’ denotes that whatever you’re outliving will die before you do. That word gave me so much hope. Yes, I was expected to thrive in adversity… but that adversity had an expiration date. It was eventually going to die… and I would still be alive… and in theory better for it. It was like God ran to the end of the tunnel and installed a little light for me. This wasn’t an open ended issue. There would be a conclusion… and I would be alive after it.
God knew it was coming. He gave me a handle to hold on to. He wanted me alive on the other end. There was an end in sight (though I didn’t know when it was coming). So therefore there was a plan an a purpose for this mess. What do they say? What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger. Yeah, it was something like that.
I feel that I’m approaching the end of the challenging season… yet feel another one coming on. It has been the worst yet best period of my life. I can’t say I passed it with flying colors… but I have turned out better than I was going in… and by better I mean I have learned to rely on God more than ever and realized how fragile and stupid my own thinking, meddling and attempts to control things are. I’ve moved from faith into trust with God. It’s a much better place to be.
I hope this speaks to someone.