Today we have a collection of candy related items I’ve collected over the years. From left to right: a netted bag of chocolate coins (that if eaten would surely put you in the hospital); a candy camera that contains candy (also would put you in a hospital); two tins of red hots (probably still good but older than my kids who are 8 and 5); and a spin pop that doesn’t spin (lollipop probably still edible but you go first).
Not much to say about the chocolate coins. They’re foil wrapped and each has an image from one of the Toy Story movies. The coins inside appear (through the wrapper) to be flat discs, not embossed with any sort of image in the chocolate itself. The website eatbydate.com says that chocolate lasts between 2-4 months. It’s been between 8-12 years since I bought them. Safe to say they’re better looking on the outside.
The candy camera is a piece of junk that I bought when I was still buying everything I saw with Buzz on it. It’s cheap, plastic, has some sort of knock-off Pez candy in it. Let’s make sure you got that… It’s so cheap they couldn’t afford to put real Pez in it.
It was apparently produced after Toy Story 2 in the year 2000. It doesn’t actually take pictures. I’m not sure if I needed to point that out. It’s a candy dispenser with a flash that mimics film cameras that weren’t really something a child in 2000 would know anything about. I can’t imagine this was any fun to play with. You take a picture and a piece of cheap candy falls out of the fake lens. Who thought this up? Better yet, who listened to that person and make this thing? Tapper did, that’s who. And after a quick internet search, I don’t think they’re with us anymore.
Last is the Buzz Spin Pop. I’m pretty sure they still make spin pops… but they shouldn’t. Have we become so lazy that we can’t even spin our own lollipops? You’re sucking on a ball of sugar. Destroying your teeth and becoming the opposite of healthy… and the one bit of exercise that this particular candy requires… and you need a battery powered motor disguised as a Disney character to do it for you? Crazy.
It was apparently produced in 1999 by OddzOn, Inc. who is also responsible for the Koosh. Remember in 1995 when those were all the rage. The wings swing down and out of sight. Nice little feature there. Would have been cooler if they flexed open and shut by battery power though. It’s hard work pulling them out by hand.
Just so you know, I just looked it up and lollipops are only good for about a year. Then they get a soft gummy coating that’s probably full of bacteria. I recall eating many, many suckers that fit that description in my childhood. I think I even preferred them. Like it was a special feature. You could cover it in teeth marks. This lollipop is currently 14 years old. It’s probably gummy all the way through.
I say that if you’re going to create any sort of candy and use Buzz Lightyear to sell it… it should last for infinity… wait for it… and beyond.
Thank you and goodnight.