Due to my schedule this week, I’m not on my usual (nearly) daily blogging schedule… but I wanted to just share a little of what I’m experiencing from God right now. My hope is that it will lift you up.
I really feel like God loves me right now.
I always know he does… but we live in a world that makes that fact a little less than obvious sometimes. Knowing God loves me has carried me through a lot of rough times. Trusting and believing that He has my best in mind… that He’s out there watching over me… that He will never leave or forget about me… those things keep me going on and standing as strong as I can. But that being said, it’s nice to have the feeling once in a while too.
I’ve never been very touchy-feely with God. My childhood taught me that you can’t trust your feelings. So I trusted in hard facts about God. That was safe… ultimately I suppose they took less faith to believe in as well, but I digress. I obviously over compensated, as we adults often do, and so rather than the sensible thing, experiencing feelings but not making life changing decisions based on them, I grew to despise them. They were something for weaker Christians… I didn’t need them. I was almost proud of the fact that I didn’t need to FEEL God in order to believe in Him.
But it got lonely.
I feel the love of my wife. My children are both crazy about me… I love the way that makes me feel. Feelings are awesome… so I really wasn’t opposed to them… only when it came to the spiritual side of things. I wish I had more to write down at this point… but now we’re caught up to the current day… and I’m totally blown away with the amount of love that God, my Father, has expressed to my family.
You know how you feel when someone gives you the perfect gift? A gift that shows that shows you how well they know you? It may not even be very expensive… or maybe it’s even handmade… but the sentiment behind the gift makes it priceless. Have you ever cried after opening something at a birthday or Christmas? I have (it was a Buzz Lightyear watch)… but this gift that God is giving to us is so personal, so perfect, so spot-on… it simply blows my mind. It truly feels like a dream. Unreal.
God’s love feels good for a change. It’s nice.
Let’s be honest, sometimes His love hurts. It urges us to grow and go to places we’re not comfortable going. It shines the light of Truth into the dark corners of our souls… places where ugly things hide. It’s not fun being broken and rebuilt for His use. It doesn’t feel good. I guess I thought that’s all there was. Maybe I was just really screwed up and needed a lot of extra work. Maybe I just fought it and hurt myself. Who cares.
God, thank you for your amazing love. I’ve always had it… but thanks for making it feel so good this time. *tears*