Monthly Archives: September 2009

Grace And Discipline

mistake

Two different children acting out in two different ways sparked the idea for this post today. One was a 3rd grade boy on our Rangers class… the other was my 1.5 year old son. They both were acting out in ways that were unusual for them… and because it was unusual… grace was given.

My son, or “Dunder” as we call him, was having a rough day yesterday. He was crying uncontrollably any time his Mom walked away from him. He was sensitive, whiny and just all around bad… but in a weird way. Just when we were about to pack him in a box and ship him away we theorized that he may be teething and gave him some baby Tylenol. His behavior improved within the hour. The boy was in pain apparently.

Later that evening at our Wednesday church services I was brought a couple of young men who had exchanged blows while picking up the game room for pre-class worship time. I listened to the excuses and issued my standards. I told them I’d be talking to their parents and that I wanted to be able to tell them that the boys had been good the rest of the evening. I told them to sit separately and go back into worship. One of the two was crying uncontrollably the entire time… which was unlike him… but I figured he was just upset I was talking to his parents.

Later that evening I got a call from his teacher. He was causing problems in class and was refusing to sit in time out. I was ready to put the fear of God in this kid. I was going to lay down the law and be absolutely sure he knew that he could not act this way in class and expect to get away with it. I was going to call the parents out from church… and possibly read them the riot act as well.

I had the child meet me out in the hall with the teacher… I felt my heart soften toward the boy. Kids who cause two sets of problems in same night, who don’t do it every week, are probably going through something. I asked him what the trouble was tonight. He looked to the ground and said that he hadn’t slept well the night before. I now noticed how red his eyes were. The boy was exhausted! No wonder he was acting out.

All of my plans flew out the window… grace for his situation came in it’s place. I told him that even when he’s sleepy he needs to make good choices. That while I was still going to talk to his parents, I didn’t want to add to it that he wasn’t obeying his teachers. I told him that he would go back into class and service his time… but that he could lay his head on the table for the rest of class if he wished to rest.

I tend to be a person who sticks tightly to the rules and policies… and this serves me well most of the time. But I always run the risk of doing so blindly, with little consideration to the people involved. My prayer is that God will help me and those like me to always be ready to forget what they deserve and be ready to give the grace that He has shown me so often.

Children’s Church Games Done Right

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Lego-blocks-jumble

I believe in cutting my Sunday Children’s Church Service into segments of no more than 10-15 minutes each. One of the ways I do that is by sticking one or two games in to the mix. My games are not just distractions… I use them as an excuse to reiterate the main point of the service. In other words, my games are quick, simple, and themed.

Quick

No matter what our game is we only play it for 60 seconds. My game person chooses the children in advance during the service (watching to see who is being good and choosing at random from that group) and let’s them know when to come up and how to play. When she gets on stage, she calls up the kids she’s already chosen, briefly explains what’s about to happen to the crowd (the gamers already know) and then it’s Mark, Set, GO! Sixty seconds later the game is over, a point is made and prizes and points are given. Then it’s on to the next segment.

Simple

Almost every single one of our stage games follows this formula: “How many (or much) ___________ can you ___________ in 60 seconds?”

This formula helps us keep games simple and quick. Here are some examples of games we’ve done this way:

How many cotton balls can you collect…
How many Frisbee’s can you toss through a hoop…
How much soda can you drink…
How many puzzle pieces can you put together…
How many Lego’s can you stack…

Even when we don’t stick to the formula, we still keep it simple and quick.

Themed

There is no reason games should be ‘burn time’ where the kids aren’t learning. It’s simple enough to theme the games after something in the lesson or Bible story. For instance, the cotton ball game above could be used when talking about Manna. Frisbee tosses are for talking about sin and missing the target. Putting puzzles together are good for illustrating how God heals broken hearts. We’ve stacked Lego’s when we’ve talked about God being a strong tower.

The game’s theme isn’t going to be obvious unless your game leader points it out. We typically do this before and after the game. It goes something like this, “Since we’re talking about Manna today, we’re going to practice picking up a bit of Manna ourselves!” Then after the game, “You guys and girls did great picking up that Manna! This game reminds me that God will always provide what we need the same way God provided for His people in the wilderness.”

What stage game tips do you have? Leave them in the comments below. We’d love to hear from you.

How I Find The Time To Do What I Do

It doesn’t take up as much time as you think.

I do 5 podcasts… and that sounds like it must take forever… but not as much as you might think. From the very beginning I created the shows to be easy to produce and over the years I’ve worked very hard to simplify and streamline the entire process.

I created shows that require very little pre-show prep. The show with the most prep required is Nobody’s Listening and that’s only because there are a ton of email and voicemails that have to be read and added to the show notes. Geek Loves Nerd is super easy as we just pick a topic during the week and just sit and record. Children’s Ministry Monthly is similar in that I just choose a topic and write a few notes of my experiences with the subject and that’s about it. The Gospel of Kennison is recorded in the car on the way to somewhere with a portable audio recorder. I Like Genius’s pre-show prep is all done via emails randomly through the week as I try to get interviews with interesting and creative people.

As for recording, all of the shows, with the exception of GOK, are between 45-60 mins. Add about 15 minutes to that and the front and the back for setup and such and we’re at an hour and a half per show.

Post-production used to take me forever. I once recorded each voice on different tracks and remixed them… it took hours. Now it’s super simple. Everything is recorded in real time down to a single stereo track. Live to hard drive as they say. After we’re done recording I typically only have to trim and dead air off the front and end of the show, Hard Limit and Normalize it, encode it to MP3, upload it and post it. The whole process maybe takes 30 minutes these days.

I do most of it early and late.

I blog in the early morning during breakfast. I record podcasts late at night. Nobody cares what I do with my spare time after the kids are in bed at 9pm. So from 9:30 to 12… it’s my time. Jenn and I record GLN on Monday nights. Tuesday nights are NLCast. I Like Genius are done randomly throughout the week… but typically on Thursday or Friday evenings. GOK is whenever I’m in the car. CMMonthly is once a month on a Sunday evening. No time has been taken away from my family, chores or other responsibilities. The webcomic is done on Sunday evenings… takes about an hour.

So the tricks and tips? The KISS principal comes into play. If you going to do a lot of podcasting and blogging… Keep It Simple Stupid!

Major Spoilers Podast Theme Song

majorspoilers

I made a theme song for the Major Spoilers Podcast. I did it like a year ago… but I never really posted it and made it available. Woo hoo!

Lyrics:

If I the X Ray vision of a super man
I could save a few bucks and stand
around and read through the covers of the comics on the stand
But although every other page
would be backwards I suppose
I could still read the evens and odds, well I don’t know

I guess I haven’t thought this all the way through,
Plus as soon as the comic book store guy knew,
He’d kick my butt out on the corner

What a Major Spoiler!

Oh wait! I think I’ve found a better way
If I was hulking green or gray
I could bust through that brick wall, take their comic books away
But then the little me would deal
With all the tanks and bombs and guns
Have you tried to read a series with all that going on?

I guess I need to rethink this plan,
How would I bag and board my comics with such huge hands?
Guess I already told ya…

What a Major Spoiler!!

If I was Stark raving rich like a man of iron
I might not be surprised to find
That I might actually have the hard-cold
To follow an entire storyline.
But would I really even need
To read up on all those escapades
I mean, who needs such distractions when your assistant’s such a babe?

But the downside is such a beast,
Being shot up in a Fun-vee in the Middle East
With a gang-sign-throwing-soldier…

What a Major Spoiler!!

Creating a Weekly Schedule for Pre-Schoolers

schedule_clipart 450x300

Recently my wife and I did an episode of Geek Loves Nerd focused on creating a schedule to keep our two pre-school aged kids busy during the week. I started working on the schedule the day after it recorded. Little did I know at the time that Jenn and I would be switching places and the schedule I was creating would become my new bible so to speak.

I thought I would share a little bit of how I came up with the schedule (which is still in the works and has yet to be tested properly). Subscribe to the RSS Feed to get more on this topic as it comes available.

1. I started with the events that were set in stone.

The kids get up at 7:30am every morning. Preschool is Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Staff meeting is always on Tuesday mornings and Lunch comes around every day along with dinner and church is at the same time every Sunday morning and Wednesday night. Once I dropped those set events in my schedule…

2. I started thinking about necessary things we need to do during the week.

There are things that need to be taken care of weekly that aren’t tied down to a set time or day. I’m talking about baths, naps, snacks, chores, grocery shopping and housework. This step is the one I figure will require the most amount of tweaking as I try out the schedule. Once I have these events filled in…

3. The remaining time can be filled with play, activities, free time or other constructive activities.

You’ll notice in my sample schedule below… I haven’t quite filled in all of the Open Time blocks yet. That’s because I’m still trying to find enough to do to keep us busy. My goal is to have something different every day of the week during the same times. So if the morning open time is for inside play… I’m going to have five to six different toys or games that I keep and only bring out on that day to play with them. So maybe Monday is lego day and there is this huge collection of Legos they can only use on Mondays. Tuesdays is Playdoh day… and so on. If I keep the toys during the week, they stay fresh and special. If I play along with them, the toys not only last longer… the time is better spent and constructive.

I want to do the same with outdoor play and outside events. I want to have at least 6-10 outdoor activities I can do with the kids… in warm and cold weather. I also need to come up with places we can go that are cheap/free during the week.

As you can see, this is still a work in progress. I welcome any input or tips in the comments. Stay tuned for the continuing saga that is Geek Loves Nerd!

Sample Weekly Schedule

Monday
7:00am Shower
7:30am Breakfast
8:00am Cleanup & Get Dressed
9:00am Pre-School
9:00am Time With Dunder
12:00pm Pick-up Jenna
12:30pm Lunch
1:00pm Open Time
2:00pm Nap Time
4:00pm Craft/Play/Park Time
5:30pm Jenn’s Home
5:30pm Open Time
7:00pm Dinner
8:00pm Clean up Dinner / Kid’s Quiet Time
8:30pm Bedtime

Tuesday
7:00am Shower
7:30am Breakfast
8:00am Cleanup & Get Dressed
9:00am Leave for Staff Meeting
9:30am Staff Meeting
(If No Staff)
8:30am Outside activity
12:00pm Lunch
12:30pm Open Time
2:00pm Nap Time
4:00pm Craft/Play/Park Time
5:30pm Jenn’s Home
5:30pm Open Time
7:00pm Dinner
8:00pm Clean up Dinner / Bathtime
8:30pm Bedtime
Wednesday
7:00am Shower
7:30am Breakfast
8:00am Cleanup & Get Dressed
9:00am Pre-School
9:00am Time With Dunder
12:00pm Pick-up Jenna
12:30pm Lunch
1:00pm Open Time
2:00pm Nap Time
4:00pm Open Time
5:30pm Jenn’s Home
6:00pm Dinner
6:30pm Leave for Church
7:30pm Church
9:30pm Bedtime
Thursday
7:00am Shower
7:30am Breakfast
8:00am Cleanup & Get Dressed
8:30am Outside activity
12:00pm Lunch
12:30pm Open Time
2:00pm Nap time
5:30pm Jenn’s Home
5:30pm Open Time
7:00pm Dinner
8:00pm Clean up Dinner / Bathtime
8:30pm Bedtime
Friday
7:00am Shower
7:30am Breakfast
8:00am Cleanup & Get Dressed
9:00am Pre-School
9:00am Time With Dunder
12:00pm Pick-up Jenna
12:30pm Lunch
1:00pm Open Time
2:00pm Nap Time
4:00pm Craft/Play/Park Time
5:30pm Jenn’s Home
5:30pm Open Time
7:00pm Dinner
8:00pm Clean up Dinner / Kid’s Quiet Time
8:30pm Bedtime
Saturday
12:00pm Lunch
12:30pm Open Time
2:00pm Nap time
7:00pm Dinner
8:00pm Clean up Dinner / Bathtime
8:30pm Bedtime
Sunday
7:30am Leave for Church
9:00am Church
2:00pm Lunch
2:30pm Nap Time
4:00pm Open Time
7:00pm Dinner
8:00pm Clean up Dinner / Kid’s Quiet Time
8:30pm Bedtime

Thoughts On Different Types of Children’s Ministry Names

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What’s in a name? For some people, quite a bit, especially when it comes to their children’s ministry. Some consider the selection of the name to be on the same level as their mission statement. Some go for something that sounds super fun. Still others keep it simple and pattern their name after the Big Church’s name. No matter where you fall, a name for your children’s ministry or children’s church is an important decision. Let’s look at the different kinds of names.

The Acrostic

Though this style of name has lost some of it’s popularity, giving meaning to every letter in a particular word is still a popular choice. I recently saw a Nursery called F.R.O.G.s which meant that they were Fully Relying On God. Maybe a bit much for babies to achieve (or is it)… but all the same… that’s what they went with.

My own children’s church uses a version of this. JAM City is a place where Jesus And Me get together. It’s far from a mission statement… but it clarifies each week why we come to church.

The only downside of this is sometimes trying to find meaningful words for each letter can be limiting. I’ve seen some pretty strange things come of trying to make something fit in just the right way. Just be sure not to compromise your mission or message because of a name limitation.

The Spiritual Name

Personally, these are my least favorite types of kids church names. This is mostly due to my spiritual background… most of the churches I went to were long on charisma and short on real spiritual depth. So disregard my opinion if this is your cup of tea. To those going with this style of name, I would urge them to keep the balance between the spiritual depth and the fun of learning. A child’s experience with your message is just as important as the message. If we do not make the message attractive, applicable and yes, fun… they will typically not receive the message in the first place. So go with Spiritual Warriors of God if you want… just make being a Spiritual Warrior is practical and fun.

The Theme Name

For many ministers, their name determines their theme. Unless you’re tied to your theme… you need to be careful. My own kids church name is guilty of this. JAM City dictates that our theme will always be a city, but I’m good with this. I’ve used it for 8 years now and have found the city theme to be very flexible. City’s can have parades, celebrations, conflicts, new construction, fairs, struggles, storms and just about anything you can imagine.

I’ve seen ministries named after Movie Studios, Jungles, Water or Oceans, Space and even Power Companies. With these types of names, I’m a fan of restricting it to just the children’s church. The Children’s Ministry, on the other hand, can have a different name that is broad and can include all of the ministries of the department.

The Practical Name

For some churches, simple is better. They like names that simply give it to you straight. Names like Kids Church (sometimes with a ‘z’) or Children’s Church. It may not be very creative… but it gets the point across. There’s no question what the ministry is about.

I’m a fan of using the practical name in publications for visitors and on the church website. Visitors will not know what PowerSource is… is it a healing service, youth service, single’s ministry or what? So I always lead with Children’s Church… then put the ministry name in the description.

The Church Name

Sometimes you’ll see the church’s name or theme as the driving force behind a name selection. Sheffield Kids (or with a ‘z’) is a perfectly acceptable name. I know of a youth ministry from a church with a water-type name… so their youth group is called Surge with a huge wave as their logo. These types of names are great because they have a built-in connection to the church and yet allow for limitless themes and such. Sheffield Kids (or with a ‘z’) can have a sub-title that introduces the theme of the year (or eon).

Choosing a name is an important step… but personally there is no best style of name. Whatever works for your church is the best. If you see a name you like that’s already in use… and it’s not copyrighted… use it! I know for a fact we’re not the only JAM City out there. The important thing to remember is that a name is just a title. It is not an edge or an advantage. It will not guarantee success. That’s not a title’s job. Your ministry will define the title… not the other way around.

Switching Places

accounting

For those who listen to the Geek Loves Nerd podcast and even The Gospel of Kennison, my audio journal, I’ve mentioned on at least two occasions that I felt a major life change coming. At the time, I had no idea what that would be… but it came anyway. For a time, while things were in transition, we couldn’t talk about it… but now that the dust as settled, I’d like to share a bit of what is going on.

In a nutshell: Jenn and I are trading places.

Jennifer is seeking full-time employment in the accounting field. I have severely cut my hours and gone to a part-time status with my employer. I’m staying home with the kids… Jenn is going to work.

Why? That’s a difficult question to answer without telling a 4 and a half year story. Jenn has always struggled with leaving her job. That being said she has always been the best Mom a child could ask for… but almost every day has been a struggle for her. That is why she’s my hero. She’s done an amazing job, better than most, in spite of how the felt while doing it.

For my part, I simply got tired of seeing her have to work so hard to try to stay happy. I got to the point that I was willing to do anything. In order for me to get to that point I had to let go of certain ideas. My ‘perfect’ image of the traditional nuclear family wasn’t so perfect. It wasn’t going to work the way we had it set up. Jennifer wasn’t flawed or broken… we were both just trying to force her into a role she wasn’t meant to play. The full-time, stay at home Mom thing was eating her alive and it was far from perfect. The ideal of raising our kids ourselves hasn’t changed… just the image of what that looked like has.

She asked me how it was fair that I give up my career for her. First, I’m not giving up my calling as a minister… second, how is it any different that what we asked her to do nearly 5 years ago?

Some will be judgmental and prideful. You don’t get to judge. That right goes to myself and and my children. We have decided that she has been and forever will be the best Mom on the planet… because she did a better job than most people who enjoy every moment of it. She has earned this and I’m happy to do it for her.

So far the transition has gone very well. I love spending so much time with the kids. The kids haven’t noticed a thing. Jenn and I have always been equally important to them. They have no real preference. That face is benefiting us greatly. I clean house, do the dishes, prepare some meals… haven’t really tackled anything resembling laundry yet. Some things are best left to the pros.

Change, even good change, is funky. Especially when it’s not instant. Transition kind of floats you in a limbo of waiting and impatience, hope and despair. As we float through the next few weeks I know that though we don’t know what the future holds… someone does and He has a plan to prosper us and not to harm us. Plans that include hope and a good future.

I’m glad we found this new course. It’s different than we planned… but it’s working… and working very well. I like where we’re headed even though it wasn’t how we planned to get there. Joy is returning to the Kennison home. Life is good.

You are welcomed to join us on this new chapter of our lives as it plays out on Geek Loves Nerd the blog and podcast and your prayers and comments are always welcome.

Things I Love About My New Son

He’s still fairly new. We’ve only had him for a year and a half. Before I had children I guess I imagined that babies were pretty much devoid of personality. When you see them with their parents out and about they’re either crying or staring at you blankly. Boy was I wrong.

I’ve been spending a lot of extra time with my kids lately… and really bonding with the boy like never before. I thought I’d sit down today and write up a list of things I really think are great about him so far.

He loves Buzz Lightyear.
He’s good with his hands. A born button pusher.
I love watching him notice cause and effect.
He gets happy about the simplest things… like seeing me.
He loves to run and shout.
He likes all my geek stuff. Bobbleheads and the like.
He’s super photogenic.
He’ll eat almost anything… except bread. He’s a walking Atkins Diet.
He’s a sweetheart. It’s great that I’ll have two kids who care about others.
He has a great smile. He sets his teeth in a funny way when he smiles hard.
He’ll sit in my lap for a long time just to watch me play video games.
He adores his older sister.
He looks good in a t-shirt and jeans.
He’s already a hard worker and a great helper.
He grunts like an old man when he picks up something heavy.
He’s quiet in the car. He’s busy watching outside. I used to do the same thing.
I love his nickname, Dunder.
He’s good climbing and descending stairs. One less thing to worry about.
He gives great high-fives.
He’s brave on slides and loves to swing high on the playground.

Tips To Managing A Confrontation

1. Do not operate on assumptions or rumors.

Assume the best about the person. Better to be proven wrong than to treat them poorly because of misinformation.

2. Keep focused on one goal at a time. One correction per meeting.

You may have a lot of things to cover… but if you throw to much at them they’ll think you hate them. The people are more important than the policy.

3. Write an agenda. Stick to it.

Write up what your goal is and work your way back from there. Each bullet is a correction. Sprinkle it with compliments.

4. Make sure your goal is to improve the minister not just the ministry.

Your real goal will come through in your conversation. If it’s pure, it will cover a multitude of mistakes.

5. Understand there is the Truth, your perception of the truth and their perception of the truth.

Assume they have a different view of the subject than you. Listen. Try to understand.

6. Pray.

Before, during, after. It helps everything.

7. Follow up after.

Even just a text full of praise and thanks for the volunteer’s willingness to change can help put out the fires that often spring up after a meeting.

A Public Service Announcement

JamesKennison.com

Website of artist, podcaster, husband, father James Kennison