Monthly Archives: July 2009

How To Put Your Spouse First

This is something I’m working on more and more each day. See, I tend to be a selfish person. I think at our core most of us would have to say the same thing. We prefer being served over serving others for example.

In every situation I’ve been asking myself this question to help me be better at putting my wife’s needs above my own:

What do I want? Give that to her!

Simple… but very hard to do. For instance… we’re going out to eat. I have a place I want to go to… so does she… but they’re not the same place. I can fight for what I want… or I can give her what I want. It’s different than giving in… or losing. It’s a chance for us to willingly provide for the other person what we want ourselves.

I hear this giving thing comes back around. Plant a good seed and good things grow. I’m looking forward to that.

What do you do to help from being to selfish in your relationship? Post your thoughts in the comments.

Different Types of Clowns and Children’s Ministers

2 Replies

Some people think we’re all just big kids… a bunch of clowns. Okay then…

Bozo – Thinks he has to be a kid in order to reach kids. Acts crazy and just wants to make kids laugh.
Strength: Easily attracts kids.
Weakness: Cannot be serious, cannot hold attention for long, kids don’t take them seriously: can’t confide problems in leader; don’t respond to discipline.

JoJo – Thinks kids need a serious spiritual awakening. May use serious, hard to understand topics. Sometimes they get results, but often end up losing interest of kids and going over their heads. Possibly even scaring them.
Strengths: Order, image of discipline, some kids respond to academic approach.
Weaknesses: boring, won’t keep most kids attention, kids don’t learn practical truths they can apply to their life at their level, begin to hate church or learn to fake it to please leader.

Krusty – Loves kids, but doesn’t take children’s ministry seriously. Thinks that telling bible stories and using the right props and materials is enough. Has no spiritual foundation. Goes through the motions, teaches with curriculum/bible in hand because there was little to no preparation. Reads stories, doesn’t do anything creative or original. Just goes through the motions so he/she can say that they did church. Never challenges what has worked in the past.
Strengths: Kids are being taught something and will learn.
Weaknesses: Tells kids they aren’t important, tells parents their kids aren’t important. Church/God is boring.

Ronald – Has all the tricks, videos, skits, props, flash, glam, music, games and more. Appears to be a world class, cutting edge children’s ministry with money, facilities, and everything. Leader is caught up in the Hype of ministry. The props.
Strengths: Ministry appears to be fully functional and attractive.
Weaknesses: Kids are entertained, but not challenged to grow. Kids go to a show not a church service. There is no personal touch from pastor to child.

Homey – Want the best for kids, but use God as a weapon. They portray him as a bad man with a big stick ready to kill them if they step out of line. He is “good all the time” and “worthy of all praise” but is also hot tempered and quick to judge our mistakes.
Strengths: A few kids will respond, out of fear mostly, but it can keep them out of trouble.
Weaknesses: Most will quit trying to please an unappeasable God.

Red – Loves God and kids, and feels his/her job is to connect the two together. What they lack in talent, skill and know-how they make up for in faithfulness, persistence and genuine love for kids. Kids would come to their services if there were only a bible story and a hug.
Strengths: Kids are learning from lesson and example. Kids know they are important and loved. Kids see a real person who isn’t perfect, someone they can grow to be.
Weaknesses: Ministry and minister may not look like much, inward growth isn’t exciting to look at.

What kind of leader should we be?

Online Accountability Is Important For Us Married Peeps

Accountability on the Internet is important whether you’re married or not… but for those of us who are hitched… it’s not just important, it’s all but mandatory. For the married person, accountability is easy. You’ve got a built-in accountability partner!

If I ever screw up my marriage… I want it to be for something half-way worthwhile… not some stupid internet stunt. That’s why I let my wife have full access to my online life. I have no secrets online. <strong>Here’s some of my suggestions:</strong>
<h3>I believe it’s very important for your spouse to know what you’re doing online.</h3>
I’m not saying they need to be checking your browsing history every moment of the day… but they should be able to any time they wish.
<h3>Your spouse should be able to access your email account.</h3>
Does your wife or husband have your password? Mine does. I don’t think she’s ever used it… but she could if she wanted to.
<h3>Your spouse should be able to get all up in your cell phone.</h3>
This includes photos, call history, chat, email messages. My phone is not locked. Jenn can see anything she wants. I have nothing to hide… except for bad spelling in text messages.
<h3>If something weird happens, your spouse should be told.</h3>
Did you click on something in Facebook that launched one thousand dirty pop-ups? Did a friend send a seedy image? Did an over zealous female try to start someone online? Delete it or stop it and share it with your spouse.
<h3>The computer should be in a high-traffic area.</h3>
It’s hard to get into trouble online if you aren’t alone with the internets.
<h3>Don’t chat.</h3>
Visiting random chatrooms is not a great idea for anyone honestly… but especially married people. That’s why I like Twitter. You can talk to folks… but it’s public. Even private messages are archived. I’ve been known to chat back and forth with co-workers and friends using Google Chat… but that keeps a written record of every chat that my wife could scan at anytime. I just don’t believe it’s a good idea to use software that allows for random connections in a one-on-one situation.

Altar Time Tips

4 Replies

If your church is big on doing altar times where people come to the front to pray, worship and be prayed for, then chances are your children’s ministry is too. Even if they’re not a regular occurrence, at Kids Camp usually they are. For some of us knowing what to do, say or pray can be a little unnerving. And even if we’re comfortable in the setting, that doesn’t mean our volunteers or youth helpers are.

As someone who started as a nervous, less than eager,  altar time participant myself… here are some things I’ve picked up that may help you, or help those you are training.

Kids will come forward for anything

If you play the right music, dim the lights and say the right words you could have an altar call for kids to ask the Easter Bunny in their hearts and you’d still get a good turn out. I mean, who wouldn’t want the Easter Bunny!! Silly, yes… but important. Important because I truly believe that an altar call is all but useless to those who don’t understand what they’re doing. Some could say it’s good practice… but I disagree. I think that’s most of the troubles we have with our kids and spirituality. It’s rehearsed, practiced. They’ve learned how to look like it’s doing what we want it to do for them… and some of them keep up the act till they turn (if they last that long) 18… then they’re gone. That being said…

Most of the kids who come down have a real purpose

There are a lot of tears at a good altar call. Some kids may come down because they’re doing what is expected… but there are a good bunch who come down because they want something from God. They have a purpose for being there… but it may not be the purpose you made the call for.

It’s important to find out why they’re there

I always ask a kid why they came down. If they don’t know, I pray with them and usually direct them back to their seat. It’s not time for them yet. When they do know, and let me know, it helps me pray for them. Yes, God knows… and it doesn’t matter if I know or not… but I believe that in that situation we’re God’s hands and we can be his Voice. I remember loving it when an adult who knew me and my situation would pray specifically for me. On the other hand I can say that I wasn’t thrilled about being prayed over (and breathed on) by the ‘guy who prays for everyone’ dude. More importantly than me knowing… it’s important for them to know. It helps them focus their mind so they can focus on what they need from God.

Find out why they’re crying

If you’ve got a little girl who’s bawling her eyes out… it can be tough to know if they’re being blessed, if they’re missing momma, or if they’re reliving some horrible tragedy from their past. So when I see that child, I always make a point to go to them and ask a simple question, “Happy cry or Sad cry?” If they say ‘happy’ then I just praise God with them. If they say ‘sad’ then it’s time to help them talk it through. Altar times are great… but they can tear the Band-Aid off a broken heart quicker than anything… and we’ve got to be discerning enough to not walk past a child who is broken and assume they’re being blessed.

Thank God… It’s not about us

It can be a little daunting to be there for a hurting child… knowing what to say or not say. Am I talking to much… not enough? Do I have to have all the answers? Can I mess up in a way that will make this child worse? I’ll say it again… Thank God it’s not about us. I believe this… if our hearts are dead set on pleasing God and helping kids… just pure Godly intentionality… it’s going to be hard to mess up. I’ve found that kids aren’t looking for the perfect answer anyway… they’re looking for someone to talk to. They just want to get it out. They want to hear that God knows… and loves them… and WILL help them. Most of the issues I pray with kids about revolve around family issues. When the situation is bad enough… I just remind them that though they have no control over their current family life… they have every bit of control in the world over they family they choose for their own kids. You can give purpose to their pain if you help them to learn from other’s mistakes instead of repeating them.

Don’t be afraid to reel in a weird-o

You know who I’m talking about. That one guy or gal who just loves to wale and spit and spew and shake your kids till they ‘get the spirit’ or fall over. They have the best intentions (most of the time) but they often can get over zealous and actually do more harm than good. I can’t tell you how many teens I’ve talked to who have left the church because one of these guys got a hold of them. Putting a stop to such things takes guts… and it’s embarrassing for both parties… but it’s the right and responsible thing to do. Better to hurt the feelings of an adult (and in the process, disciple them) than to turn a child off to the things of God forever. I do not believe that spiritual people lose control of their own actions.

The time your children spend with their God is powerful and needs to be protected and shepherded. I hope this article has been a help. If so, or if you have any tips you’ve picked up that will help our readers… post them in the comments.

Thoughts On Children’s Ministry Effectiveness

2 Replies

I used to do a lot of Bus Ministry. Things have changed in the last few years where running busses is not feasible right now… but I still have a little place in my heart ready to pounce when the time is right again.

Bus Ministry is a great place to learn a lot… hard and fast. You make a lot of mistakes… and you ask a lot of internal questions… and it challenges the living crizzle out of your beliefs and makes you wonder if it’s worth it at all.

Once I remember questioning whether pulling a kid out of their situation for only a couple of hours a week was actually doing any good for them at all. I was explaining to God how they’re bombarded with family issues, inner-city pressures, peer-pressure like you’ve never seen… how was my little song-n-dance once a week going to provide any help… especially for those who didn’t half listen?

God told me—I must stop here for a moment and make sure you understand that when I say “God Told Me”, that it works like this: I get a really excellent idea in my mind that I know in a million years would never come from my own jacked up, over functioning brain—flatly”:

“When you’re in a fire… any moment you’re not burning is a great moment.”

I knew exactly what He was telling me. These kids were in the worst of situations… and though I was questioning our effectiveness, God was making it clear that every moment they were free from that situation was a precious, precious time for them. It helped me so much. Suddenly I saw their hyperactivity in a new light. They were excited to just be kids for once. They were getting a chance to play, a chance to connect with adults who truly cared about them as people. I wasn’t allowed to downplay any of the time we spent with them after that.

This concept doesn’t only apply to Bus Ministry… but to any ministry to children. Sure, we only get them a few hours a week… assuming they come every time the doors are open… but that time is precious. Especially from God’s point of view. Even if all we did was play with our kids rather than teach, for some of them it would be the most spiritually refreshing moments in their week. Experiencing God’s unconditional love in a safe, accepting environment should be the foundation of every children’s ministry experience.

How To Do Children’s Ministry Podcasting

Leave a reply

Have you ever considered doing your own podcast? Maybe just making audio recordings of your sermons available online? Podcasting is a great hobby and an excellent way to distribute audio and video content to the world.

Below are a collection of articles I’ve written on the subject. I hope you fill find them useful.

If you have further questions, feel free to contact me. I’d love to help you get started.

Thoughts On How To Handle The Way Things Are Now

<img style=”border: 0px none;” title=”Comedy Tragedy” src=”http://www.nlcast.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/drama.jpg” alt=”Comedy Tragedy” width=”240″ height=”187″ border=”0″ />

The world’s been turned on it’s ear it seems. The economy is jacked to heck, celebs are dying by the boat load, folks are losing their jobs and home budgets are being shrunken. Is ‘shrunken’ a word? It is today!

With all of this constantly staring you in the face, it’s easy to get overwhelmed by it all. Here are some things I’ve come to that help me through it.
<h3>I can be concerned, but not worried.</h3>
I can’t ignore the obvious… but I can’t control it either. Concern allows me to face things realistically and think clearly enough to consider solutions. Worry, on the other hand, assumes that I have some kind of control… but keeps me from thinking clearly at all.
<h3>I will be thankful… as in full of thanks.</h3>
At my church they say, “God is good, all the time… All the time, God is good”. Though it does get old sometimes, it is no less true. Every good gift comes from God. Being full of thanks, and giving thanks, keeps you focused on the things that aren’t going wrong in your life. So often the things that are going easy are taken for granted because the things that are going wrong demand our attention. Thankfulness will help you remember how much in your life is good.
<h3>It will not affect my relationship with my spouse.</h3>
No matter how much we struggle financially, why in the world should it affect our marriage? If we’re on the same team and have the same goals… there is no reason. Let’s say the worst happens. My salary is severely cut… or I’m laid off. We become poorer, have to sell our home, forced to move and find work… if we’re on the same team with the same goals, these things should serve to bind us closer together… not become a source of contention and strife between us. Plus, we have small children… what do we want to teach them about how married couples handle life’s drama?
<h3>God has a plan.</h3>
Not everything in this world is in God’s control. He allows people to make their own choices… good and bad. So his Will is rarely actually done… but I take great pleasure in knowing that God does always have a plan. Take the Garden of Eden. It wasn’t God’s will for Adam and Eve to sin and leave the Garden… but he did have a plan to get them back after they left by sending his Son Jesus thousands of years later. In my own life, I’ve even seen Him use my mistakes in my own favor. It comes from having a heart that truly wants to follow God’s will. The Bible says it this way: “…we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.” It also says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and not on what you know. Acknowledge him with everything you do and he will make the way obvious.”

Using Social Networking Sites Like Facebook

3 Replies

It seems like everyone has a Facebook and a Twitter account these days. These are examples of Social Networking sites. Social Networking is basically a online way to connect with people you know and meet people who share the same interests you have.

For example, I have a Facebook account (http://facebook.com/nlcast). I have a lot of ‘friends’ that I am connected with. While many of these folks are people I know in real life (church, family, old high school friends) there are a lot more who are listeners to one of my podcasts or who I’ve met through kids camps, speaking engagements or other children’s ministry social networks.

So Social Networks are a great way to connect to people you know and folks you’d like to know better. Facebook is a free service. Signing up is simple. It’ll lead you through the entire process including helping you find (real) friends instantly by searching your address book (optional).

How can you use Social Networking for ministry? When used correctly I liken these services to hanging out with other ministers at lunch during a kid’s conference. The kind of lunch where you’re just hanging out, swapping stories and resources… having a laugh. Especially if you use a network specifically designed for children’s ministers.

CMConnect.org is one such network. It is my favorite because it costs absolutely nothing to use because it is ad supported and the staff seems to have a real heart for connecting cm leaders. It’s like a private MySpace where you have a profile that tells a little about you. You can connect with other ministers by becoming ‘friends’ with them. There are forums, groups to join based on interests… it’s an excellent resource. Check it out and friend me at http://www.cmconnect.org/profile/JamesKennison and join the CMMonthly Group at: http://www.cmconnect.org/group/cmmonthly

One trick I have is linking my Twitter account to my Facebook so that when I update Twitter, it posts as an update to Facebook too.  (here’s how) Notice I didn’t mention anything about using MySpace. MySpace is a huge mess… stay away!!! 😉

How To Use Twitter

1 Reply

What is Twitter? Let’s see what Wikipedia says:

“Twitter is a free social networking and micro-blogging service that enables its users to send and read each others’ updates, known as tweets. Tweets are text-based posts of up to 140 characters, displayed on the author’s profile page and delivered to other users – known as followers – who have subscribed to them. Senders can restrict delivery to those in their circle of friends or, by default, allow open access.”

If you didn’t get all that… Twitter allows you to let people know what’s going on in your world and allows you to ‘follow’ what other people are saying about theirs.

Why Twitter?

Twitter can be really useful for children’s ministers. For example… the other day I was hunting for something I needed for kids camp. I ‘tweeted’:

Does anyone know where I can find those water balloon launchers made from surgical tubing? #kidmin

That update went out to over 1000 people who follow me. Soon I was getting all kinds of answers… and eventually I got the answer I needed. Another children’s pastor in the area had a couple I could borrow. I went by and picked them up from him yesterday.

Notice that I added “#kidmin” to the end of my ‘tweet’. That’s called a hashtag. A hashtag is another name for a keyword. In Twitter you can use hashtags to label the topic of your tweets. There are people using Twitter that follow topics more than individual people so when I added the #kidmin even more people got my tweet than would have otherwise. You can also follow keywords too and see what people are saying about children’s ministry.

How To Twitter?

Go to http://twitter.com and sign-up. Make sure to bookmark the site so you can use it again later. You need to add a profile picture, add your name, website or blog… then you can start updating using the provided form. You’ll also want to find people to follow. Here are some great folks that I suggest who are involved in kids ministry.

I suggest you download a Desktop Client, which is a fancy term for being able to use twitter like you would Instant Messaging right on your computer.

Here are a few great Desktop Clients:

If you have any questions, email me or post them in the comments.