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  • Share Your Funny, Embarrassing, Horrific Kidmin Stories For Our Next Episode

    April 3, 2012 · 3 comments

    Ever had an object lesson blow up in your face? Or fall flat? Ever had a child barf right at the wrong time? What about those parents who’s kids do no wrong and the excuses they give? We’ve all got a story to tell.

    I’m sure you’ve never had anything at all ever in the world go wrong in your only slightly less than perfect experience in ministry to children… but I’d still like to see if there is anyone else out there who has had wonderfully horrible things happen at the worst possible times.

    I’d like the next episode of Help! I’m A Children’s Pastor to give you an audience!

    Not only will we laugh our faces off, I’ll bet we’ll each find something we can relate to as well. So email, record or call in your best (or worst) story. Try to keep it as short as you can, but don’t sacrifice the content.

    Send your stories via email, phone or audio:

    helpimacp@gmail.com or call 209-5NLCast

    Got a Kidmin personality you’d like to hear from? Let them know! Shoot um a link!

    Looking forward to this. Thanks for your support.

    • Haley Bush

      Hi James, just thought I’d share what turned out to be a particularly successful object lesson on lying. You’re welcome to share it.
      I taught on an aspect of the armour of God and how it isn’t real armour but our character armour, the belt is what pulled a roman soldiers armour tight around him, if the belt is tight the armour cannot be removed. Paul referred to the belt as truth. If we live the truth it will protect us but if we lie and cheat we put ourselves at risk, it would be like loosening our armour, God needs us to be truthful no matter what. Not cheating on our taxes, cheating on an exam or lying to mum and dad or telling untrue stories for any reason. We put ourselves at risk when we do something so silly. We need to keep our belt of truth nice and firm around us. It’s our character and choices that will put us at risk or protect us.

      I then told a story that particularly captured the imagination of the 7 to 10 year old boys. My husband works in demolition and I had noticed an old toilet in the salvage yard he manages, I ‘borrowed’ it and on Sunday when the kids arrived in kids church there it was centre stage, the kids of course were very interested in the new “decorative item”, the girls wanted to know if it was new or used and the boys wanted to know if it was a working model, the morning got underway and pretty soon a few of the girls and most of the boys had closely inspected the toilet or even dangled a body part down it. I sat on it myself to teach the lesson that morning.
      When it came to the object lesson here’s how it went… I asked “Why would someone tell a lie?” The responses were varied but the common answer was ‘to get out of trouble’. “Ah but lies are poo!” I told them. “You see when you flush the toilet you think that it’s all taken care of, that the poop is gone forever…never to be seen again.
      When you tell a lie you think it’s like flushing away your trouble so it will be gone forever. After you ‘flush and brush’ the water and toilet look pretty clean! But where does the poop go?” We turned the toilet around and inspected the S bend… “Where does it go from there?” The responses were varied from ‘into a big hole under your house’ to ‘out to sea’ but there was one budding plumber in the room who shared his knowledge “no it goes into pipes under the houses” That’s correct and I added “then those pipes join up with other pipes underground coming from all the other houses and they go all around the streets”. There was a lot of ‘eww’ and ‘gross’ comments as I described the journey of a thousand poos through the underground pipes of the city. Now when you tell a lie you think, phew, that’s better all my trouble is flushed away, gone forever! But…wait…just like poo it’s not really gone – that lie has gone down into the inside of you like poo goes down the pipe. Pretty soon after its trip through the city’s underground poo railroad your poo makes it all the way back out into the open again at the sewage works (or the poo-farm as Aussie kids have traditionally nicknamed it) and someone has to deal with it… a whole lot of it, at that point I gave a brief description of a day in the life of a sewage plant worker, we all agreed it was not a job to aspire to but that we were grateful that someone was doing it. (There are some suitably gross pictures online if you want to add a power point slide or two)
      Summary * Lies are just like poo because just when you think you’re never going to have to worry about it, it’s going to pop up in your life again like poo does at the sewage works and you’re going to have to face it and deal with it, only it will be worse because the reason for the lie being told will also have to be faced. So next time you are about to tell a lie… remember, just like poo it WILL make its way out into the open eventually!!

      Over the next couple of weeks I had parents coming up to me to hear the “lies are poo lesson first hand” Apparently poop strikes a chord with everyone!!

    • Haley Bush

      Every now and again at the start of our kids church program I say to our middle school age group (grades 5-7) do you guys wanna “sneak” down into the adult minding service for Praise & worship? They never say no! There’s about forty of them. I let the service team know the night before by text message to keep a couple of rows saved for us right at the front right of the stage. We “sneak”down the internal stairs from the upstairs main office lobby area and through the dark unused overflow area and come out pretty much at the bottom of the stage. We stay for worship and often get to take communion if its on that week then during the video church news broadcast we “sneak” back the way we came… the older kids love it and still haven’t woken up to the fact that there are chairs magically available for them 🙂
      Thought I’d share this idea as it may be something others can do, it makes our upper primary school age kids feel special and its good for them to be involved in the main service for a different flavor of praise & worship. I am really proud of the way they enter in. If our Pastor takes the stage for any reason and sees them there he always acknowledges them and make them feel welcome.
      Cheers from the land down under

    • Haley Bush

      Here’s one for a laugh…
      I got this great headset mic from the main church tech team, it’s kind of on permanent loan, its awesome for running games and quizzes as you can have both hands free. Our kids church tech team is run by senior high schooler’s (love em) Everything seemed to be going great with my favorite new toy (the headset mic) until the third Sunday of using it when after praise and worship and things had grown quiet in the main service everyone got a free sample of what was happening in kids church upstairs as for some bizarre reason the headset mic had been patched into a main guitar amp. Don’t ask me how, they said they couldn’t do it on purpose if they tried! Our senior pastor was up on the platform and said “Well I always knew Haley was a voice of reason in my world but this is pushing it” I’ve never seen our tech team run so fast… I’m just glad I wasn’t telling any kid off right at that moment!!

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