In the “What Were They Thinking” category of Buzz Lightyear products… this one takes the cake. A star-spangled monstrosity called the “Stars & Stripes” Buzz Lightyear.
Ugly even in mint condition.
Here he is in his packaging. There is nothing I could find about this product online. And I don’t own him. Would not own him… so I know virtually nothing about this figure.
It was released in 2002 and part of the Toy Story and Beyond line which produced several variations on the Buzz Lightyear costume… including a “Battle Commands” Buzz.
Spangles may be closer than they appear.
This thing is a monstrosity. It’s so American it makes George Washington look like a traitor. The only way I would accept this Buzz is if his expression were that of utter horror.
Like this but more scareder.
This poor guy was dipped in a bucket of Southern Patriotism then hung to dry on the Mason-Dixon line. He’s sporting a red helmet, red white and blue button panel, he even has a huge USA tattooed on his forearm. The only thing that survived was his nameplate and the center Space Ranger logo sticker which they should have changed just to keep people like me sane.
There are roughly 78 stars on this guy and way more than 13 stripes. That means that if there were an American Flag and this Buzz in a room, you would say the pledge to the Buzz.
Here is a very inappropriate view.
Here is another…
Get my point? Every view of this thing is inappropriate. Look, even his knee-balls are blue! His waste is blue! Why not keep it black for the love? He looks like Buzz Aldren, Evel Knievel, Uncle Sam and Super Dave Osborne had a baby.
Don’t judge us.
Needless to say I hate this thing. It makes me want to burn it… which I suppose would be wrong because he looks like an American Flag had a baby with a Transformer.
You used that joke already.
Okay wrapping up here…
Check out this thing in silent, slightly creepy action.
I love how the laser is now some kind of machine gun. Very American. I also love how there are no special patriotic sounds or music that play when the buttons are pressed. Guess we couldn’t afford to license “Grand Old Flag“?
Happy 4th!
I wish every American a wonderful Independence Day in spite of the fact that you were subjected to Stars and Stripes Buzz Lightyear. Please forgive me and go blow some stuff up.
And for you non-Americans you have a great July 4th as well… just not for the same reason. Unless you want to celebrate America’s Independence. Knock yourself out.
Happy America everybody!!