Monthly Archives: August 2009

Outlive This

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About three years ago I was in prayer and God finally spoke to me. Some people have God speak to them all the time… not me. I’ve never heard him audibly… and that really used to bother me. God typically just drops answers or thoughts into my mind. Thoughts that make so much sense I know they didn’t come from me. But that moment three years ago was different. Though He wasn’t audible, the voice in my mind was clear.

“Outlive this,” was all He said.

I had been praying because I was seeing some pretty tough times coming on the horizon in my job and home life. They issues were taking a toll on my job performance, attitude, patience and spirituality. I had been praying for guidance, answers, help of just about any kind… and all I got was two words. Outlive this.

Though I’ve since had more thoughts and impressions that I know were from God since that moment… no matter how I pray, I haven’t gotten anything more out of our Father. No matter the circumstances, I always just come back to the last thing He told me.

I’ve given this short statement a lot of thought over the years. Like a Rodeo Rider riding bareback it has become a handle for me to hold onto. Here’s what I’ve pulled from it. I hope it will be of comfort to someone out there.

“Outlive This” means a few things to me:

1. He didn’t say ‘Survive This’.

There is a huge difference between surviving something and outliving it. You can barely be alive and still say your survived. You can be totally torn to shreds and still be a survivor. That’s not what God wanted from me. He wanted me to be alive after it was all over. He didn’t want me to just get through it… but rather to learn to thrive in the midst of the complexities of my life.

2. If I was outliving something, it meant there would be an end.

The word ‘outlive’ denotes that whatever you’re outliving will die before you do. That word gave me so much hope. Yes, I was expected to thrive in adversity… but that adversity had an expiration date. It was eventually going to die… and I would still be alive… and in theory better for it. It was like God ran to the end of the tunnel and installed a little light for me. This wasn’t an open ended issue. There would be a conclusion… and I would be alive after it.

3. There was a purpose for the drama.

God knew it was coming. He gave me a handle to hold on to. He wanted me alive on the other end. There was an end in sight (though I didn’t know when it was coming). So therefore there was a plan an a purpose for this mess. What do they say? What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger. Yeah, it was something like that.

I feel that I’m approaching the end of the challenging season… yet feel another one coming on. It has been the worst yet best period of my life. I can’t say I passed it with flying colors… but I have turned out better than I was going in… and by better I mean I have learned to rely on God more than ever and realized how fragile and stupid my own thinking, meddling and attempts to control things are. I’ve moved from faith into trust with God. It’s a much better place to be.

I hope this speaks to someone.

Do You Deserve The Perfect Spouse?

I went to college late in life. I was in my late 20’s when I started and married. It was a little annoying when class conversations would turn toward the subject of Marriage. The college kids talking about it were only guessing, but being true college students, they spoke as if their word was law. I realized a common theme amongst these Christian college students… they were all waiting for the “perfect” spouse. Every one of them had a different idea of what that was… and a different idea of how they would meet them.

They would go into detail of what this person would be like. Godly, kind, disciplined, trustworthy, faithful, etc. They had it all figured out. The only thing I ever wanted to say was:

Are you the type of person would would attract a person like that?

I specifically remember this one angry girl in one class. She was determined not to date at all until she found the “right man”. It was obvious that she was hurt in the past… and that even if the perfect man did come along… he was going to run screaming from her because of all of the baggage.

So to all the singles out there… have your dream man or woman… but make sure you’re becoming the type of person they would be attracted to. The type of person they would deserve to have. The kind of person who could give back rather than sap all of their good qualities dry.

An honest person wants someone honest.

A loving person wants someone who’s loving.

A giving person doesn’t need someone who takes.

A clean-living person doesn’t want someone with addictions.

Mentally create your ideal mate, then imagine the type of person they would want to marry. That’s the you, you need to be.

About A Boy, My Boy

daddy

I love my son. I didn’t know if I could before I had one. I guess I had it in my mind that sons were somehow unlovable. When you have a father who doesn’t stick around… and then a step-father who pretty much hates on you the entire time he’s married to your mother… I guess feeling this way is a natural response.

He didn’t take to me right off like his older sister did at his age. He was a momma’s boy for his first year. We didn’t really bond. This only confirmed my fears that I was going to be a great father to one child… and a terrible one to my youngest. But for some reason, after that first birthday, things started to turn around. He suddenly liked his Daddy. It really helped to know that it wasn’t me. I was just pretty much useless to him for the first year!

He’s just shy of a year and a half. As his personality develops, and I’m introduced to more and more of who he’s becoming… I gotta say… he’s a cool little dude. He loves to laugh, cut up, play jokes, chase and be chased. He is obedient and eager to please. He can switch between tears and a smile almost instantly and he’s already showing signs of being a good hard-working little helper.

I still worry if I’m going to cheat him somehow. I’m never going to be the Dad that plays basketball or football with him. Hunting and fishing aren’t my thing. I don’t play golf or watch sports. I draw. I play video games. I create podcasts and blogs. Not your typical Daddy type stuff. Maybe he’ll take after me… maybe not.

I just have to believe that whether or not I can relate to him… that I’ll always be there to support him. I will provide the constancy in his family, home, discipline and love that he needs to move in the direction God has planned for him. What does the Bible say after all… “train up a child in the way he should go”. I may not do it right… but I’ll at least be doing it in the right direction.

I believe that will work just fine. I turned out okay and I never had that. I can’t wait to see what he’s capable of.