Father’s Day is coming up. It’s got to be one of the most downplayed events of the year. The role of the father has been devalued in our culture to the point that virtually no one feels it’s an occasion worth celebrating at all.

I believe the reasons for that are many. Any role that is abused by those who fill it is destined to be devalued. But there are many of us Dads out there who take their job very seriously and are darned good at it. We deserve a pat on the back.

With that in mind, here are a few ways you can make the Father in your life feel like a million bucks… without going broke.

10. Don’t ever refer to him as one of your children.

I’ve heard many a loving wife jokingly add one additional child to the total when they’re asked how many kids they have. “It’ll be nice when I get him raised,” they’ll say. Would you like it if he talked to his friends like that about you?

9. Let him overhear you talking him up.

This is the polar opposite of the last point. Rather than your husband catching you talking him down… how much will it pump him up to hear you talking good about him? We husbands are pretty simple. We rise or fall to the level you treat us like we’re at already. Treat your man like he’s a 10… pretty soon, he’ll start being an 11.

8. Bake something.

Seriously. Nothing says “I love you” like baking. Make cookies. A cake. Perhaps a peach cobbler. Heck, we’d settle for a banana putting with 3 boxes of vanilla wafers. If you’ll ask him nicely, I’m sure he’d agree to eat it all before you were tempted to do it yourself.

7. Give him some guilt-free time.

I know it may seem he already gets a lot of that already… but guilt-free free time is priceless and not the same as sneaking off to play video games. The more guilt-free time you give him… the less he’ll take from the family later on.

6. New Socks, Underwear and Undershirts.

Don’t wrap them up and give them to him. It’s embarrassing and underwhelming in that context. Buy them and put them in his drawer without saying a word. It’ll be a huge surprise the next morning to find a drawer full of fresh, unworn whites. Every man’s dream.

5. Watch one of his movies with him/Play one of this video games with him.

Men have an unsaid creed: “Love me, Love my stuff”. It’s true. If you really want to show him you care, offer to do some of his stuff with him. If it’s golf, have at it. Fishing? Put on the flannel shirt. Hunting? Bambie is doomed. Video games? Consider yourself lucky you’re not in the woods with that other wife gutting a Disney character.

4. Take him out to dinner.

It’s cliché but if the restaurant serves steak or giant hamburgers… he’s gonna love it. Just don’t have anyone come out and sing to him. This time… spring for appetizers and dessert.

3. Have the kids write notes rather than make cards.

Cards a good… but a note listing out what his kids think of him is even better. Tell the kids to write a list of their favorite things about dad. If they’re to little to write, write it for them as they dictate. If they’re super young, write it up as if they did it themselves. If they’re older be more specific and have them write several of their all time favorite memories over the past years. Then have them put that in a card if you want. He might cry.

2. Lots of hugs, kisses and compliments.

Your man is a lot more like you than you may think. He likes to be told he’s good looking, wonderful, hard-working, a good father and husband. He likes you to fawn over him. As an added bonus… with every kiss and hug, you’ll probably get a kiss and hug in return. It’s a good investment either way.

1. Good lovin’.

We’re all married adults here. You know what I’m talking about so do that… very well.

Several years ago I had an issue with one of my leaders in Children’s Ministry. It was over uniforms for a girls group. The group were supposed to be wearing them… but they weren’t even being offered uniforms by the group’s leadership. When I approached the leader I was told that the girls couldn’t afford the class A uniforms. I proposed that we go with a class B or even C option which would be a matching T-shirt with a sash for badges. This idea was whole-heartedly rejected by my leader.

Why? She wanted the class A uniforms and was willing to wait. It had been over 5 years at that point with no uniforms. It was time to admit something: that we were never going to have perfection. We needed to settle for (in her mind) something less… because it was better than nothing.

I’ve recently applied the lesson I learned from that experience to my marriage. I find that I have this perfect vision of what I want my family to be… and vision is a good thing don’t get me wrong. But it doesn’t make sense to stubbornly demand your vision at the expense of an obvious reality.

We may want our spouse to act or be a certain way. We have a vision for them… but what power do we have to change them? None! It may be time for us to adjust our ideas and accept something ‘less’ in order to ultimately get more from our relationships.

Our vision is probably not as ‘perfect’ anyway. We’re flawed people. Often our expectations of our spouses are based on overcompensations for some unmet need or emotional injury from our past. It’s ultimately very unfair to hold others to our own standards. It assumes to much in the first place… that we know exactly what everyone in the family needs to be happy.

Meanwhile, while we’re all waiting for that perfect dream… everyone’s miserable.

We can’t change people… but we can provide an atmosphere that instigates change. That atmosphere cannot be one of judgment and disapproval but rather one of unconditional love, understanding, selflessness and example setting. We aren’t settling for less… rather we’re improving our situation by accepting reality and making selfless, sacrificial adjustments from where we are now… which ultimately get is closer to where we need to be, rather than where we dreamed we’d be.

Every week in JAM City, our elementary children’s church) I perform the live character JoJo The Christian Clown. He’s a newly saved overly-excited Christian who is not allowed to work in children’s church… but that’s not going to stop him from trying to prove to everyone he’s got what it takes.

This video was shot as a service intro for our 2009 graduation service. I had to be in the room the entire time… so this video was born. The little girl is my daughter. She’s awesome.

For more JoJo goodness, check out his other video. Note: his voice is different now because I got tired of folks saying he sounded like Adam Sandler! 🙂

On a whim I decided to offer you folks a Master Feed — a one stop spot to get everything this Kennison-boy puts out in audio form.

This single feed url contains Nobody’s Listening, Geek Loves Nerd, Children’s Ministry Monthly AND the newly created audio journal, GOK: Gospel of Kennison. Woo-hoo!

Here it is:

• Kennison Master Feed
• Subscribe with iTunes
• Subscribe with Zune

I found a great online movie maker called Extra Normal that I know I’ll be using to create skits and illustrations in the near future. It’s in beta… and free for the moment. Check it out!

Click play below for a random movie I found on the website. Not a great example… but you’ll get the gist.

This thing is very cool. It will shoot ANY carbonated beverage (not just beer) up to 10 feet. This is a messy stage game waiting to happen!

The only unfortunate thing is that it’s shaped exactly like a real gun… which may or may not be an issue for your group… but with a little foam or other embellishments it could look just as harmless as a water pistol.

See it in action:

They come in several colors (including pink) and run between $22 and $33 bucks.

[Link]

I’m sure by now most of you have heard about the tragic shooting of a Baptist minister this past Sunday morning. I was directed to a great article addressing five areas churches need to be sure to address when it comes to security.

I took great pleasure in seeing that Children’s Ministry was at #2 on the list. It only makes sense that after security is beefed up in the “Big Church” that the mentally unstable among us will follow the path of least resistance. Let’s not let it be our Children’s Ministries.

Pastor Shot Dead in the Pulpit: 5 Questions to heed About Church Security [via TheResurgence.com]

I’d like to share my own set of 6 Questions concerning Children’s Ministry issues taken from an email to my own volunteers.

Door Security

Our doors need to be locked, manned or otherwise secured during service. A sign should be posted explaining the need for security and the requirements for admittance.

Secure Check-in System

Every child should be checked in through a security system. They should have an id badge/sticker. Teachers should have a roll sheet of every child in their care.

Restrict Access

No one should be allowed in any of our classrooms unless they are a screened volunteer wearing an easily identifiable lanyard, shirt, vest or badge (your choice) or an authorized parent/guardian who is checking out their child in keeping with procedure. (This unfortunately includes older siblings, worker’s own older children, relatives, family friends, etc).

Secure Pick-Up

At least one leader should be by classroom doors managing the flow of traffic. Children should be seated and away from the door until their name is called. Traffic should only move one direction during pick-up… out!

Volunteer Timeliness

Every volunteer needs to be on time to their post. The more adults we have, the more secure we are. Volunteers should shoot to be 10 to 15 minutes early every week.

Emergency Communication

Our leaders need a fast and effective way to communicate with you, your security team or on site officers in case of an incident or emergency. At minimum, give out your cell number. Install an intercom system or hand out walki-talkie’s of you can. Ask the nursery if they can assign you a pager so volunteers can page if they need you.

What are your security concerns? Post your thoughts, feedback or questions in the comments.