There is a secret issue just under the surface in the ministry lives of many children’s ministers. The issue is the feeling of a lack of respect from others about what we do. We work with children and are separated from the main service. It’s easy for us to feel removed, forgotten, taken for granted and disrespected. Continue reading
Three weeks already? Has it really been that long? It’s been crazy busy. Not really the work… but learning how to work in a new environment. Nearly everything is new and what isn’t new is done differently. Procedures I learned from one place have really messed me up on this end of things (I pressed 4 to delete a voicemail… should have pressed 2).
Things are wonderful, don’t get me wrong… but rather than talk about the awesome stuff, I’d like to hash out a few things I’ve already learned about starting a new position (aka, things I messed up).
Wherever you go, there will be people in each church who are similar. Just because knew one of them very well in your old church doesn’t mean that relationship transfers to the new person. One week is way too soon to be making ‘Yo Mama’ jokes.
When you move positions, you carry along your experiences. Most of those will come in very handy and help you bypass a whole lot of mess. On the other hand, some of it will cause you to assume certain things that were true in your old place to hold true in the new. This is not necessarily the case. Kid flag teams are not always the cheese.
Nobody cares what they did there… how hot or cold it was… how good or bad it was. You may have been there for a decade… but God has moved you forward and upward. It’s time to leave those things behind you and press on to the goal that God has for you. That being said however, at my old church… we did a lot of cool stuff.
The first time people see you they will make a snapshot of you for their future reference. They will choose how they speak to you and what they say based on that snapshot. Make sure you present your true self even if you’re not at all impressed with it. You cannot maintain an image for any long period of time anyway. If you don’t speak in a southern accent normally, it’s not a good idea to adopt one just because you moved South.
I’m all about getting any advice from any of you readers who have made a move such as mine. Any tips you would add? What mistakes have you made? What did you learn? Drop them in the comments.
When did children’s ministry become all about Leadership? Though I think that message appeals to the white-color, Starbucks-sipping, Mac toting children’s pastors (an observation, not a judgment)… I think the latest trend in children’s ministry is all but lost on a majority of the folks actually doing the ministry.
Most children’s ministers are unpaid untrained volunteers who have a lot of passion and ability but not a lot of ideas, support or resources. They also don’t have a budget. I think this is why the CM gurus have ignored the real need… there’s no money in it. I don’t see a lot of curriculum being created and marketed to the Inner City for instance.
The mother of 3 doing children’s ministry in the basement of the church with her husband doing puppets doesn’t need to know about leadership, time-management and budgeting. She needs to know how to create object lessons, how to discipline properly, how to stay motivated, how to work with nothing and turn it into spiritual growth in a child’s life.
My hope is that a movement will rise up. A community of mid-small church children’s ministers who are Kingdom minded enough to share what they’ve learned, what they have, what has kept them afloat. A group of folks who aren’t comparing numbers or conference appearances but may have accidently mastered some aspect of their ministry and would love to share it with the rest of us.
As MJ said… we’ve got to start with the man in the mirror… so here goes. If there is anything I can help anyone with… anything I have learned… anything I can give (that is mine to give)… please let me know. That is the goal of this site and podcast after all. To target the forgotten.
My charge to all of us: Forget about being popular. Be important.
I was walking from the church to the car one Sunday night a few years ago. Once again I was one of the last people to leave. The parking lot was almost empty. I’m used to the night security guys starting their cars and following me out most nights.
It had been a rough day, a rough year actually, and being the last to leave made me angry and bitter. A flood of complaints flooded into my brain. It must be nice to have a pastoral position where you’re done once church is over! I must be the only one who actually works around here!
Then suddenly I had a video play in my head. It was of me 20 years later, taking that same walk from the church to my car. Two folks were standing up on the sidewalk saying, “Look, there’s Pastor James. He’s the hardest working pastor here. Been the last to leave for over 20 years!” Then a thought came to my mind.
It was like a slap in the face… a much needed one. Before I even made it to my car my heart was repentant. I wish I could report that I was instantly changed. I wasn’t… but that phrase became like a rudder for my mind. Whenever I started to get bitter, it would help to steer me in the right direction.
I don’t want my sacrifices to go to waste. I don’t want my labor to give others the impression that working for God is futile and overwhelming. It only seems that way when I try to do it in my own strength.
God began to show me that there is purpose to our struggles. Especially when they don’t go away or even ease up. But we can ruin that when we complain and become jaded and embittered.
One day I want people to look at my life and be inspired to emulate it. It will be an example one way or the other. I want it to be an example to follow, not an example of how NOT to do it.
Some people think we’re all just big kids… a bunch of clowns. Okay then…
Bozo – Thinks he has to be a kid in order to reach kids. Acts crazy and just wants to make kids laugh.
Strength: Easily attracts kids.
Weakness: Cannot be serious, cannot hold attention for long, kids don’t take them seriously: can’t confide problems in leader; don’t respond to discipline.
JoJo – Thinks kids need a serious spiritual awakening. May use serious, hard to understand topics. Sometimes they get results, but often end up losing interest of kids and going over their heads. Possibly even scaring them.
Strengths: Order, image of discipline, some kids respond to academic approach.
Weaknesses: boring, won’t keep most kids attention, kids don’t learn practical truths they can apply to their life at their level, begin to hate church or learn to fake it to please leader.
Krusty – Loves kids, but doesn’t take children’s ministry seriously. Thinks that telling bible stories and using the right props and materials is enough. Has no spiritual foundation. Goes through the motions, teaches with curriculum/bible in hand because there was little to no preparation. Reads stories, doesn’t do anything creative or original. Just goes through the motions so he/she can say that they did church. Never challenges what has worked in the past.
Strengths: Kids are being taught something and will learn.
Weaknesses: Tells kids they aren’t important, tells parents their kids aren’t important. Church/God is boring.
Ronald – Has all the tricks, videos, skits, props, flash, glam, music, games and more. Appears to be a world class, cutting edge children’s ministry with money, facilities, and everything. Leader is caught up in the Hype of ministry. The props.
Strengths: Ministry appears to be fully functional and attractive.
Weaknesses: Kids are entertained, but not challenged to grow. Kids go to a show not a church service. There is no personal touch from pastor to child.
Homey – Want the best for kids, but use God as a weapon. They portray him as a bad man with a big stick ready to kill them if they step out of line. He is “good all the time” and “worthy of all praise” but is also hot tempered and quick to judge our mistakes.
Strengths: A few kids will respond, out of fear mostly, but it can keep them out of trouble.
Weaknesses: Most will quit trying to please an unappeasable God.
Red – Loves God and kids, and feels his/her job is to connect the two together. What they lack in talent, skill and know-how they make up for in faithfulness, persistence and genuine love for kids. Kids would come to their services if there were only a bible story and a hug.
Strengths: Kids are learning from lesson and example. Kids know they are important and loved. Kids see a real person who isn’t perfect, someone they can grow to be.
Weaknesses: Ministry and minister may not look like much, inward growth isn’t exciting to look at.
What kind of leader should we be?