I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “I’m more interested in that Back to the Future Blu-ray than I am these Buzz cups” and that’s a darn shame.

You’re about to learn more about cups than you ever thought possible.

First, a quiz.

Two of these cups have never been used.

Can you guess which ones? That’s right! James is lying. They’ve all been used.

The left most cup is pretty generic.

I have no idea how I acquired it or it’s twin. I also have no idea which cup was born first. That’s a big deal to twins.

This cup has no features. It’s a plain plastic cup. This fact will come strangely relevant in just a moment.

 

The center cup is not a cup it’s an actual mug.

I don’t know what the big deal is. You get a handle and boom you get a new name? Well I suppose a handle is another name for name so… AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!

I’m back!

This mug is green and has glitter mixed in with the plastic. Makes it look like a Tinker Bell mug truth be told. I bet if you scraped off Buzz there would be a magical fairy under him. I’ll also bet that I would punch you in your face (mug) for ruining my mug (cup with one ear).

 

The last cup is actually not a cup it’s a freaking Flagon.

It has a handle and a lid. That makes it a flagon. The flagon things very highly of itself. And why wouldn’t it? It’s in the shape of a giant rocket. It has fins and a Buzz wearing eyeliner.

Seriously look.

Eyeliner. Reminds me of this dude from Lost.

I hope that Buzz’s “come hither” look was unintentional.

This thing’s being sold to children for the love. He’s all making some comment about his “rocket”. For shame Buzz. For shame.

I got the flagon from someone nice who went to a Disney on Ice event. They probably paid $30 bucks for it. It was probably filled with a slushy of some kind. They probably gave it to me because owning a flagon is a huge responsibility.

That’s a lie. They’re easy. They’re good around kids. Just don’t leave two of them or they’ll fight to the death.

Flagon: Almost as cool as Dragon except dumb.

You ever hear of that movie, “How To Train Your Flagon”? No? That’s because flagons are stupid. They can’t fly. All they can do is keep bugs out of your slushy.

So thank you whoever gave this to me.

I’m worried that it may have been my brother-in-law. That’s bad because I can’t remember and that makes me a bad brother-in-law.

I have more cups and mugs and flagons coming in the future. So hang in there cup fans. There’s more to come.

Are you or someone you know a Flagon?

Do you hate cups that don’t fit right in the dishwasher? Do you hate the phrase “sippy cup”? Leave a comment below!