Funny OR memorable… let me explain before we dive in. I had someone tell me once, “If you can’t be good… be memorable!” A creed all underachievers can live by!

Here are some random things I say to kids to help break the ice when I meet them. Some are funny… others are just memorable. Some are one liners, others take a bit of setup.

When you’re meeting a child or checking them in… after you’ve asked their name and age… find out if they’re married.

When guessing a child’s age… never try to be accurate… guess at least two years higher than what you’re thinking. You’ll impress them because every child wants to be bigger.

Ask groups of siblings who’s got the messiest room… who eats the most… who runs the fastest. Fingers will be flying.

With twins… always ask who’s oldest. Then who’s smartest. 😉

All my kids know that they aren’t allowed to get married till they’re 35.

After service when kids are heading out with their parents, tell them, “Take a nap and clean your room!” You’ll get an amen from Mom.

Tell Mom that we decided that her child was so good in children’s church we decided that he/she could drive home today.

Tell a large group that if they don’t listen… we’re canceling everyone’s birthday! (with a huge smile of course!)

When a child tells me it’s their birthday, I congratulate them, ask them their age… and what did they get ME!

Before and after Christmas, make it clear that if anyone gets any (fill in your favorite stuff here… for me it’s Buzz Lightyear stuff) they can bring it to you rather than return it to the store.

What one-liners and jokes do you use to play with your kids?