Though I don’t remember which, I received this item as a gift from my sister on one of my birthdays at least 10 years ago. If not more.
I was still a gatherer and user of Buzz Lightyear rather than a real collector back then. I was torn when I opened it. Would I use it or keep it? It bothered me enough that I didn’t like it for a while.
I’ll be the first to admit… this is probably kind of gross. Especially considering the expiration dates on these are between 2002 & 2003. The only one still edible is the Campbell’s Fun Shapes. Though it were canned in 2002 they don’t go bad till 2105! The cereal and fun snacks seem fine… it’s the Pop Tarts that really feel nasty. Mostly because they’re so heavy and you can feel them shift around inside the box. They were purple and green to start with! I can’t imagine what they look like now.
First off let me say that I really, really wish I could post these items in the order that I acquired them. There’s a crazy little part of my brain that is freaking out that I’ll just have to post them randomly. I also would like to be able to have a story for every item… and until now I thought I knew where every one of them came from… but I don’t remember. So you get what you get.
I had to go digging through my kid’s rooms to find him but he’s still here. He’s the very first Buzz Lightyear collectible I ever bought. I purchased him at The Magic Kingdom in Florida on my honeymoon in June of 1996. Toy Story was released in November of 1995 and this was 7 months later. Being the first feature-length computer animated film my interest went far beyond the story. Everything about it thrilled me… but especially the movie’s main character, a squatty grey and green suited spaceman.
I remember seeing this toy for the first time, being amazed that there was an actual toy that looked exactly like the ‘toy’ in the movie. He was what we would now call an “instabuy”. I took him out of the box and literally played with him back at the hotel. This is something I really regret now… but he was so awesome!
He spent the next year on my computer desk. Any friends that came over with children loved to play with him. One young man in particular will always live in infamy for breaking and then denying the breakage of the wing ejection button. Nic was 8 at the time. He’s now in his 20’s. You did it Nic. Time to face the music!
Years later Buzz made another appearance that sticks out in my memory. There was a man in our church who had a wife dying of cancer. We went to see him, and her… and for some strange reason I took Buzz with me to give to the man. I even told him, “I don’t know why but I want you to keep him till she’s better.” He responded as if I had given him the best gift in the world. Buzz stayed in that hospital room for quite a while. The poor lady lost her battle and Buzz came home.
A few years later that man met and married my sister.
Buzz sat on various office shelves over the next few years until 2008 when we had our son. He went to live with little James. First as a nursery decoration and later on as a real toy.
He’s scuffed and scratched. His batteries need replacing. His wings don’t pop out anymore (Nic!) but he will always be my first Buzz. He turns 17 this June.
I’ve noticed that now that everyone knows what I’m dealing with and going through that they don’t know how to act when they see me or my family. It’s awkward and people don’t know what to say. So I’m writing this to help you how to interact.
Don’t ask, “How are you doing?” or “How are you feeling?” The reason: I feel worse than you can imagine. There are levels and levels of pain and issues that come up as a result of that. You don’t really want to know and I don’t really want to trap you with a long explanation I don’t even want to tell you the truth… that I feel completely crappy. You can imagine how that would go. No, I’m going to lie to you. I’m going to tell you that I’m just fine. Right as rain. Because I don’t want to drag you down or be rude… and explaining how I am doing would take a while… and you’re not aware of the Pandora’s Box you’ve opened. So I protect you from that with a fake smile and a quick lie, “I’m fine!” Please don’t make me lie.
I understand that this is a natural thing to ask anyone, especially someone that’s ailing… but with depression it’s the worst question you can ask. My wife doesn’t even ask. Asking that puts my brain into a self aware state. In an instant I realize that I don’t feel well, that I’m going to disappoint the person asking with the truth, how awkward the situation is, that my whole life, even silly little human interactions, has been affected by this disease and that the future is most likely going to be filled with more things like this and pretty much my entire life and future is screwed. So yeah. It’s a bad question to ask.
Just say, “Hello”, “Good to see you,” or “Please walk away. You’re depression is getting on me.” It doesn’t require a response and doesn’t force me to lie to your face. Continue reading
“Depression, that’s why”.
Whatever question you may have about my lack of social media interaction, lack of podcasting, lack of artistic expression, and more recently, lack of job, can be answered by that sentence.
Depression is a broad term that people like me say so they don’t have to talk about anxiety, mood swings, physical pain, hopelessness and more. Especially when talking to people who don’t know much about it. Which is most people. Not that I’m actually talking to that many people.
I’ve struggled with depression in general for a few years now. It started as a general feeling of doom. I went through every day just feeling like everything I did was bound to fail. A friend suggested I see my doctor for this, which blew my mind that you could (or would) see a doctor about such a thing. So I did and I was given a series of meds. Some worked for a while, some didn’t work at all, others brought out anger, and another made me want to sit on the floor all the time. Eventually through months of trial and error we found a drug that managed my serotonin levels and things were just dandy. They stayed that way for about three years.
In those three years I had left my children’s ministry position at a large church in Kansas City for a church in St. Petersburg. Florida was where my wife wanted to raise our kids. Closer to family… and the beach. I was convinced that the high-stress of my former job was the cause of my depression. I didn’t even think to mention it to my new employer and pastor. It was something in my past that we had gotten through and over. The new job surely would make taking any pills unnecessary. Continue reading
I was just sitting there in service wondering what to draw and Elizabeth says, “you should do a Bumblebee Buzz”. I knew what she meant and started right away.
This Buzz says, “Infinity is the right of all sentient beings.”
Is GIF pronounced with a hard or soft G? I’ve always said it like the word Gift without the T. I’m probably wrong. I don’t care. It’s a GIF!
This Buzz says, “My eyes blink. Big freakin’ deal.”
I made this Buzz using Disney’s Pixel’d app which is a great little pixel art app. Easy to use… and free! Check it out in the iTunes app store. Note the full-size and actual sized versions.
This Buzz says, “Objects on screen may appear bigger than they are.”
This is not a parody. Nor is it a copy of any particular style… I just wanted to draw Buzz a little differently and this is what came out.
This Buzz says, “I look like I belong on the bottom of a Totem Pole.”