This is part three in a series showcasing the many, many things I do not own that are shaped like Buzz Lightyear in some way so as to attract my attention. At least initially.
You may recall from my previous posts, if I don’t have it it’s because (1) I Do Not Want It, (2) It’s Too Expensive, (3) I Can’t Buy It, or (4) I Just Haven’t Bought It Yet.
Do Not Want – Rear Entry Buzz
First up we have a Buzz Lightyear that has definitely been into infinity and way beyond. This is a Buzz Lightyear I will never, ever want. It’s Internet famous, I’ll give him that, but for all the wrong reasons. If you can’t make it out… that’s a Buzz stuck up inside someone’s number-two place. Remember when you saw Indiana Jones as a child and it kind of burned down a part of your innocent soul? Well, that’s what this photo has done to me… and now you.
I want to point out two things that will make this uncomfortable photo even more so. First, why did they go in feet first when there’s a nice dome-shaped head on the other end. Second, the wings are completely extended. Holy mother of all that is Pixar how, why and what in the heck were they thinking?
And for the skeptics in the house, this is real. It was taken from a book called “Stuck Up!” made by doctors featured the things they’ve found in people’s exit only.
Too Expensive – Macy’s Parade Buzz Balloon
What an amazing creation this is. It’s huge, it’s the right shape and proportioned correctly, he’s in the right pose for floating above a parade… what’s not to love? The price tag. From what I could find first time balloons cost 190,000 for participation and construction. Then it’s 90,000 every year after. These are based on an estimation from a few years ago… and do not take into account the price of filling this joker with helium. I’m sure there’s a few more thousand just on a gas. I just don’t have that kind of cash laying around but if I did… this joker would be floating over my house 24/7.
Can’t Buy – Steampunk Buzz Lightyear Costume
This wonderful re-imagining of my favorite character was created by Scott N. and snapped at the San Diego Comic Con. I’m not a huge Steampunk fan… but I defiantly appreciate the valves, dials, wood grain pipes and rivets on this exceptional example of cosplay. Even the cap is purple without be gaudy… and giant domed goggles instead of a glass dome makes perfect sense in this context. This costume is in the Can’t Buy category simply because there is only one. One chestplate, one set of arms, gloves, lower leg coverings… and one pair of skin-tight silver leggings. Oh yeah.
Back when I was drawing daily Buzz Fan Art I did a Steampunk Buzz.
Haven’t Bought Yet – Mini Buzz Lightyear From Small Fry
I found this the other day and about pooped my pants. It’s the Mini Buzz from the Small Fry Toy Story feature! He comes along with a Poultry Palace Fun Meal box and everything. I have no idea who is selling these, or where to look other than ebay, but when I find a good price for one, It’s mine! Right now on ebay they’re running between $42 and $47 bucks… plus shipping. That’s a bit rich for my taste but I’ve wanted one of these since I saw the short… and here he is.
Have you not seen the short I’m referring to? Today’s your lucky day!
**UPDATE** – I now own one of these. He’s awesome. Way better quality than he looks in the picture.
Well, that wraps up another list of Buzz stuff I don’t own. Make sure you check out the other lists as well.
Bonus! – Wooden Plaque From Germany
This was sent in by Rachel, and American who lives in Germany. She saw this in a shop and thought of me. At first I thought I was looking at an awesome tortilla. But after a second look realized that it’s a wood burned wooden sign made especially for a boy named Lane back in 2012. He apparently never picked it up. It’s still going to cost you $19.36 US to buy it. They sure start sexism early in Germany. No girls! I doubt that’s part of the code of the Space Ranger. Then again, I seriously doubt this is officially licensed merchandise.